Whoever said a breakup online is easy doesn’t know the struggles of it. It’s just as difficult, and we have tips that might make it easier.
If you’re in a relationship and you think it’s time to step on the brakes, you know that it’s not an easy decision. Or maybe it is, I’m not here to judge you. But I think what we can all agree on is that breaking up over text is not as easy. Not saying that face-to-face is any better, but sending a breakup text is just a jerk move you know?
There are situations where you need to breakup over text, like if it’s a long distance relationship, or if it’s an online relationship (yes, those exist). In these situations, it’s inevitable. You’re not going to fly or drive for hours just to breakup with that person. So if you do have a choice to breakup face-to-face, then you do that. Breaking up over text when you can walk 10 minutes to their place is not cool.
But if you can’t do it face-to-face, then we’re here to help you breakup through text.
How To Break Up With Someone Over Text
Imagine if you’re on the receiving end. You’re enjoying your day, everything seems fine, when suddenly you get a— “Hey, we need to talk.” —it ruins your entire day. Despite not knowing what it could be, when it’s a “we need to talk”, it’s definitely something serious. If you’ve expressed your concerns about your relationship before and things don’t seem to be progressing in a good way then maybe they’d know what it’s about, but if this is your first time expressing something that truly bothers you, maybe don’t jump the gun and immediately breakup?
Break it to them slowly.
Unfortunately breaking up through text is something that happens often enough, and often taken advantage of that it’s frowned upon. There are valid situations where you absolutely need to breakup over text, so if you really do have to breakup through text, here’s a nice way to do it.
Or simply say you need to talk, there’s something you need to tell them, or when they’re available for a call. Which brings me to my second point.
Try calling or FaceTiming instead
If you and your partner often call or FaceTime, then it’d be a good idea to lay on the news while you’re at it. Or setup a time with them to talk about something serious. Usually this is easier for both you and your partner, because you don’t spend time typing a paragraph that could possibly be deleted because you’re anxious, and your partner can see that you’re genuine.
What you don’t want to do is rush them into answering immediately – it takes time to process new information, especially one that they possibly didn’t see coming. Don’t end the call unless you see that they might need time for themselves, and tell them what you appreciate of them.
What you DON’T want to do…
Here’s some of the Don’ts when it comes to breaking up over text;
What to say (or how to say it)
It’s better to say it directly than avoid it forever and explode one day. Once you’ve found a good time to talk, try to be respectful, kind, and clear in saying it. Don’t go around to too much, but don’t be too blunt. Be considerate of your words.
- Tell them you’re sorry if it hurts them.
- Tell them why it’s not working out.
- Say something positive.
- Listen to what they have to say.
- Give them time.
Point #3 might not make a lot of sense to you, but relationships are a two way street. You can’t keep pointing at the other person’s flaws without recognizing some of your own. Besides, you once cared for this person, it can’t be ALL terrible, right?
Learn from it
Like I said, relationships are a two way street – it takes two to make it work. You once loved this person so much that you couldn’t get enough of them, and maybe you do still have feelings. But sometimes it doesn’t work, and that’s okay. Whether you turn out still friends or better off as strangers depends on you and your partner. Maybe things are too complicated to turn it to a friendship, maybe they’re too heartbroken. Either way, be respectful towards each other. After all, it used to be love.